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Realise i've been working for close to 2 mths already... This means the staff on maternity leave i'm covering for is coming back soon! Cant bear to leave my workplace. There's so much i love abt my experience, the people, the food and even my printer! Haa.. this printer produces all kind of food for me. Picture the printer with a cheesebread. YUMMY.. it looks like a mini oven dont u think? :)

butterfly dreams

My Phone.
i've been so busy with work that i find myself starting to miss out on some of the beautiful sides of life. Here's apologising to pple i havent kept in touch with.. Sometimes i'm so intrigued by the reality of life. It's daunting how every decision made is like choosing a path at a crossroad. How if i turned the wrong direction? Try closing ur eyes and feel the texture of things around you. Do you like myself suddenly get reminded of how true life is? Not sure if you get what i mean. But to be honest, i used to think about what me so special that the Lord breathed life into me.
Anyway, those who know me know i love butterflies. Am i a beautiful butterfly dreaming that i'm a girl or am i just an ordinary girl wondering if i could be a butterfly? When i was young, this was the thought that went through my head whenever i watched them flutter their wings.

flower power!

This week's Staff Appreciation week and our BIG boss got us each a flower (see pic!) and chocolates each. I love my job, i love my colleagues, i love my workplace, i love everything! Hmm.. really dread my last day here to come :(

Thanks to my colleagues who made my bday so bday-ish. On 6th Jan, I thought this year's bday was going to be uneventful but 7th Jan proved me wrong! My colleagues reported to work earlier and welcome me with lotsa party poppers. I got 2 boxes of Royce Chocolate + a Mr. Happy Plush toy on my desk too!. There's more! [PART TWO.] after i came in from late lunch, they surprised me again with green cake tt looked like a cabbage :) I love it! Apart from it being green, the cabbage cake had little candy catapillars :)They really made my day, or perhaps my week :)

omnipotent & benevolent

God is all powerful and well-meaning but stimes it's just soo difficult to accept that these two can coexist. If he loves us and have the power to change our situation. He would have prevented so much of our pain. Why did he allow the tsunami to occur for example? I believe that must have hurt to see His creations being destroyed so quickly and swiftly but He probably has his reasons. Perhaps, it's a way of god reminding us that despite the advance technology we've developed and the vast knowledge we've accumulated, there's still a part of nature that remains unpredictable and cannot be simplified to a simple equation. In fact, we learn in physics that whatever measurements we take, no matter how accurate the instrument, there's still a percentage error. THIS percentage error, no matter how small is still not equivalent to zero. Hmm...
I like the example quoted in Angles & Demons. Our Father IS omnipotent and benevolent. He's just like any of our fathers. Our fathers love us and they'll try to the best of their ability to prevent pain in our life. But when it comes to a potentially dangerous activity, like skateboarding, our fathers are more likely to equip us with the essential advice and safety precaution and then allow to skate than to be completely barred from the activity. Guess it's the same for our Lord. He gave us the free will, the autonomy. (thx jon for this bit) Dont you agree with me? Stimes we learn best after a painful mistake ;)

Missing daddy

My daddy flew over to phuket with the rescue team ystdy. I know it's only been a day but i've started to miss him soo bad. It's just so different having to wake up on my own with 2 alarm clocks [haa.. with jon being the third -grin-(thx jon!)] Hope my dad will come back safe and sound.. OHYA! My great daddy was on news last night. Made me super proud of him :) Sadly, though he's on a noble mission, i cant help but be upset tt i cant celebrate his bdae (03/01) for him and he wont be there to celebrate mine too :( On the left is my dad celebrating my 2nd bdae. I dont look like my dad then, but now i do -grin-

i love my shoe!

I havent love any pair of shoe this much! This pair is handmade and reminds me soo much of my ballet shoes. I wore them to work today and they just make me want to skip ard office. Haa.. i must say nothing could have made my happy day more perfect! There's even carvings at the soles, though i think they'll be worn off soon :( So i sketched the carvings below :)

da Vinci

I've been reading Angels & Demons by the same author of Da Vinci's code. It's an absolute thumbs up! Well, coincidentally, Singapore has started to offer robot surgery using da Vinci Surgical System. I heard with this robot, countless complex operations have now become minimally invasive procedures. It's amazing how we usually lose 600-800cc of blood during surgery, but with this robot, it's just abt 100cc. Sounds like this new type of surgery can potentially make surgery less painful and traumatic ;)

a child at heart

Work's been tiring me from head to toe! But it's altogether exciting when i get to squeeze so much into a day :) Sometimes when i'm done with work, i'd go down to the clinic in hope to learn sth and sometimes i'd drag myself to meet up with friends, go for gatherings and outings after work. Sounds terrible? Actually, if u ask me, the most terrible thing's lotsa good food + little opportunity to move ard. This is really bad.. i'm feeling unhealthy!
Talking abt a child at heart. Rmbr those times when u just go ahead to do sth which u're told not to do? I felt the same way when i got invited to dance. My new shoes were killing my feet but i went ahead :) *lol* I must have looked awful. I dont regret it though, it made the day so perfect! *beams* *lifts an unwrapped present*

Eternity

Close your eyes so you don't feel them,
They don't need to see you cry.
I can't promise I will heal you,
But if you want to, I will try

I sing this somber serenade,
The past is done, we've been betrayed, it's true
Someone said the truth will out,
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreaming,
and you gave me what I need.
And I hope you find your freedom,
for eternity...for eternity.

Yesterday when you were walking,
We talked about your mom and dad.
What they did that made you happy,
What they did that made you sad.

We sat and watched the sun go down,
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young,
Before you know it's come and gone, too soon
for eternity

Missing Cambridge

It's been exactly a year since i left for cambridge. The thought of it makes me miss cambridge miserably.. Hmm... especially after knowing for sure tt i wont be studying there since i didnt even apply :( I miss the streets there, I miss their scones, I miss my dorm, I miss the colour of the lawn, i miss the morning dew, i miss the breeze.. In short i miss everything!
The gd news is it's probably not as bad as it sounds:) At least i can say for sure that i'm making the most out of my hols. I'm learning so much from my job and from things i read. Will share some with you soon :)
Back to work :)

the universal language

i learnt today that the language that everyone on earth is capable of understanding in their hearts is love.

thanks nic for the book! it taught me soo much

Heart

my new hp wallpaper
Now that my exams are over, i am at lost for what to do. Argh, cant believe it, i thought having a list would help, but the prob now is where to start!
I'd definitely want to catch up with my friends. I miss so many people! :)
AND, i have lots of things to work on. I'm such a boring person, someone suggested tt i should work up a temper. WATCHOUT, i'll be angry at u next :)

in love with koalas

I decided to go to my grandma's place early today and caught her by surprise! We watched animal planet together and it's amazing how something so simple could fill my heart with warmth. It's nice being able to laugh together, talk about animals we both love and practise my dialect at the same time. Haa.. Sometimes i'm really thankful that i had the opportunity to grow up at my grandma's. She taught me so much! I still remember how she had 18 cats and dogs, had birds, fishes, tortises and i joined her collection by keeping butterflies and tadpoles. Have u seen the life cycles of butterflies, frogs and snails? Well i have! :) She taught me how to differentiate butterflies from moths, taught me some gardening skills and i was so shocked that i have to learn these techniques in school. My grandma never had formal education but she knew all about bud grafting and all the vegetative propagation methods which i learn in bio. She said it's all from experience. I was so -whoa-ed- Makes me wonder abt education stimes. It's interesting how formal education may be beneficial to only some pple while it's a complete waste of time for others. Hmm.. anyway, the programme i watched today was about koalas. They're so adorable arent they?
I've been wondering, will my love for bio make me change my mind abt doing medicine. My teacher really talked me into considering teaching. Hee.. If i do, i hope i'll be as gd as him! Then again, when my granny asked if i've ever considered veterinarian science today, it set me thinking about this new option. ARGH... this isnt doing much good to my determination to get into nus medicine. I really want to (trying to convince myself here.. haa) but there just seems so many favourable options. Guess it may be harmful tt i have so many interests..
Alright, i better get back to work. I get real excited when i think about my exams ending in 6 days! Yippee!! :) Hang in there everyone :) last stretch, give ur best shot and make this a home run!
I've got lots to do aft a's. Too many... ... ...

*jumps in delight*

My current hp background :)
I'm so happy today! :) Elated! Overjoyed! *skips around* Whoohoo!!! The funny thing is i dont exactly know why :) But it's partly cos i dont know why that sent me over the hills. You probably think i'm mad now :) Maybe i am, but i hope not. Hmm.. I spent some time thinking abt what i'm going to do after my exams. I'm definitely going to bake lotsa cookies and cakes for x'mas, read all the books i always have to stop myself from reaching to the shelves in the library now, go fishing, go cycling, learn to drive, save money for my trip to somewhere, plan for my trip, earn some money if i can, catch up with my pri sch / secondary sch friends, PLAY, call my host in germany, send them parcels.. the list just never ends.
I'm sure u have an idea of how deprived i am now. I'm really looking forward to all this rubbish ending!
Hmm.. i'll post sth interesting next time.

pumpkin Halloween!

Helllooo! havent been around for ages and was quite surprised to find lorrie visiting this place. Hello 小花！ *BIG wave* Anyway, i was shocked (actually maybe not) that i only have a grand total of 2 post in October. Hee.. 'cos i use to post every other day! :) Alright, i'll take it as a good sign that i'm finally getting serious with my work.
Hmm.. a bit abt halloween.. Heard the ex-pats in sg celebrate halloween. Really wonder what it is like to have little kids dressed in scary costumes showing at my doorstep to ask for sweets. Halloween sounds like an interesting festival. I ought to find out how it came about! :) I'm really curious.. why are pumpkins used during haloween? hee.. I rmbr seeing a giant pumpkin in australia but i cant find the pic i took with it.
Here's a pic i really like by a photographer i really like too! Thought it's apt to put it up today since it's halloween :)
Alright, it's getting late. I should be hitting the hay soon :):) i'll post again when i have something to share and when i have time of course! :)

terribly bushed

HEYo! :) Havent written for very long.. guess it's a gd sign cos at least i know that i've been doing work *beams* It upsets me sometimes when i realise my studies take up so much of my time which i could have spent with my loved ones.. Just ystdy, i decided to visit my grandma in the aft. Though i go there almost every week, it's the first time i stayed at her place for so long in a very long while. Hmm.. she was so happy to see me and she even forgo her fave programme on animal planet to cook brocolli for me. I was so touched cos (i) she rmbrs tt i love brocolli (ii) she could guess i was hungry (iii) i could tell how much she loves me. *aww* Ystdy really reminded me of days of my childhood spent with her. :) The part that upsets me though was when I saw her great difficulty when she tried to make her way upstairs. She declined my offer to help with a smile and said,"y'know, stimes i feel that i'm really getting old." Think it must have been more than 10 yrs since i last tried to calculate her age, cos i rmbr the last time when i did, i tried to use my fingers and toes to help me. Where have i been for the last 10 or more yrs? What have i been busy with? :(

i want to be a doctor!

Hee.. i have a black sesame snap from Malaysia on one hand now :) I love black sesame! Just came back yesterday and i cant wait to share some of the things i thought/read abt during my trip! :) Hmm.. Genting changed so much since i last went there! I guess i was supposed to enjoy myself more since the place now has more games, more hotels and more casinos but being such a nature lover, i wasnt very impressed by the man-made attractions, especially when it was so profit-driven. Perhaps i would have gotten a better break if my family had gone to a beach instead, but i'm thankful for this trip nevertheless. At least the weather was great and i had time to not think abt work *beams* I thought abt my university applications too :)
I have decided that NUS Medicine remains as my first choice and my back up plan would be to read medical science in UK and then re-apply to medical sch as a graduate entrant. :) What do you think? I'm not sure if i should apply to do biomedical engineering. When i read up abt it, there's so little bio and so much physics in it that i'm not sure if i'm up to it. The funny thing was when i read the overview of their course, the first person i thought to be most suitable has to be Matthew!
Hmm.. i was asked recently why do i want to be a doctor so much. Especially why apply to medical sch again if i graduate with a degree in medical science when it's very sufficient to begin a career. I guess i just cant imagine myself being a Medical reseacher with minimal patient contact. Human relations literally fuels me :) Hee.. those who know me will know how i like working with people :) Also, with a medical degree, i'd probably be in a better position to help those in a life and death situations. I dream abt being a freelance doctor sometimes. It just seems such a worthy calling and i'm sure it'll be especially fufilling to help out in the third world countries. During my trip, i realise that it is not just the poor in developing countries that need help, there's an emerging concern abt the threats children in developed countries face too. For example, there's so many people around with different kinds of allergies. It's not only the types of allergies have increased, the severity too. As implausible as it may sound, some doctors say that this self-generated danger could be a modern epidemic. What do you think?
I'll share my other thoughts / discoveries some other day :)

Radios In Heaven

I'm overwhelmed by this sudden saddness tt's scaring myself, cos it doesnt happen very often :( Hmm.. maybe it's cos i almost forgot today is 中秋节. You're probably thinking there's no big deal ya? I guess i just felt so bad, so terrible for forgetting a deal i made with a friend last year. The incident kinda triggered many other thoughts tt cause my nose-diving mood. When i was listening to the song Radios in Heaven, i got reminded of my loved ones in Heaven. I started to miss them badly and all :( I've got the lyrics below, read it and you'll know what i mean.

Actually, i have all the reason to be happy with my day, so i shall stop complaining. I went back my my pri sch out of ennui and curiosity and I felt really welcome, though it's a new school compound and all. A lot of tchrs/support staff actually rmbr me! It's really flattering i must say. My teachers encouraged me to leave my name with the office so that they can contact me if they need a relief teacher next year. It got me so excited, cos i've finally found something meaningful to do after A's.

Alright, i dont feel like writing anymore. I'll be outa town, so i prob wont post for a few days.. Hope my mood will pick up soon!

Radios in Heaven
Your time has already come and I don't know why
The last thing that I had heard
you were doin' just fine
It seems like just yesterday
I was laughing with you
Playing games at Grandma's house
well you taught me well, didn't you?
I hope I'm just like you

Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
'Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you

You left before I had a chance to say goodbye
But that's the way life usually is
it just passes you by
But you can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back
So I'll just be thankful for the times that I had with you
I hope I'm just like you

Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
'Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you
If they don't have radios in heaven
here's what I'll do
I can bring my guitar when my time is up and I'll play it for you

Tell me can you hear me now
if not, then I can try to sing real loud
What's it like up on the other side of the clouds?
I hope I'm just like you
I hope I turn out to be as good as you


Get what i mean?

Thinking abt Tmr

You wont believe what i did all day. (Alright, it's almost all day) I attempted to read all my TIME magazines! It's unfortunately out of guilt cos the fact tt i have to pay the expensive subscription fees has come back to haunt me. Haa.. if only this happens more often, then i probably wouldnt have accumulated a pile worth of unwrapped magazines :)
I read abt an interesting new exhibit at London's National Portrait Gallery called David. It's an intimate portrait, which was shot in a single long take. Beckham was filmed sleeping, after training in Madrid. The video of the slumbering football hero played on a plasma screen presents a reverential and vulnerable image of this international football icon. It would be amazing if i could see it for myself! I'm not a fan of Bechkham but what truly amazed me was the profound combination of today's advance technology and Art. Think abt it, the artist has created a portrait by a modern means. I'm sure it's intriguing to see someone so famously handsome fast asleep :)The soft flicker of his eyelashes and little movements then -- nothing happens :)
I really have a great liking for modern art. I truly enjoyed myself when i was at Tate modern :) The pic here shows the first exhibit that left me in awe. Look carefully at the orange-lit circle. It's actually one orange-lit semi-circle made into a circle using a gigantic mirror. I rmbr lying on the floor to see my reflection in the ceiling. It's AMAZING i tell you :) Hmm... sadly, my love for the Arts is probably going to make it hard for me to find travelling companion. I rmbr audry saying, "if we go backpacking together, dont bring me to Art-sy places ok?"
Seeing Jamie Oliver on TV today triggered another brainwave. Being a TV presenter/chef of a gourmet programme seemes like an interesting job! *grin* Haa.. too bad i'm prob not up to it cos i tend to get all nervous and tongue-tied easily :) Hee.. guess the passion to cook is inadequate. I'm still sticking to being like Donna Hay. Ivy loves to cook, Ivy loves to give food a touch of ART..
Now, do i sound like i want to become a doctor? *lol*

Childhood Memories

I really wonder where my childhood playmates are now. Wonder how they're doing and i wonder if any of them is amongst my circle of friends now! :) Just today, i found out that Matthew and i went to the same kindergarten. What a coincidence! It'll be super cool if we were even classmates :) Guess we'll have to dig out our photos to find out :)

My cousin was my bestest childhood friend! There wasnt anything we didnt include each other in. I miss her soo much :) Havent seen much of her for years, cos she's always not around for the family gatherings :( Hope everything is going well on her side.