Lost and Found

I intended to come back early today to have a restful afternoon, but after hearing the unfortunate news, i couldnt help it but remained in a comtemplative mode since.

Surely the unfortunate incident didnt happen for me to say,"Oh,ok."
I felt that the friend was good enough a friend for me to be affected and think repeatedly why this had to happen.

If i were to leave today, moments before i go, i'd be full of regrets cos there're just too many things i have not done. This led me to evaluate the life i've been living. I've been far too lazy, far too unmotivated and far too undeserving of all the good things i've been bestowed with. Really, i should starting tmr to not take anyone, anything and any day for granted.

I grew restless at home and saw today as a good opportunity to take my new shoes for a test run. Besides the fact that the experience was a world of difference from my past shoes, i was glad that i attempted to rediscover the me that used to enjoy running.



Reality can hit you real bad stimes and a mini version of it was how i am able to conquer the hill i used to do so with ease in the past. This, i thought, could potentially be corrected. All i need is some discipline, hard work and consistence and i can kiss my unfit self goodbye. BUT, imagine waking up one day to find out that something u treasure the most is gone for good. It's imaginably painful right?

Interestingly, we're losing each day for good too, but how many of us remind ourselves daily not to waste each day? Perhaps sth like that might do me some good...



I have lost so many things that i ought to find back, if possible. If not, stop losing anything meaninglessly!

If today was the ur last day living, what would ur biggest regret be?

Perhaps today was really a wake up call.
Perhaps I ought to learn to live life in a way that i wouldnt regret if i were to leave anytime.

Leave life fully if u havent, please.

From <<一切完美>>

A: 爱一个人，应该为所爱的人好好的爱惜自己
B: 你的爱很清醒

"有一句话虽老土可是很适合我们... 我们没有缘分，而爱情偏偏需要缘分。"

"你是否有想过当你所爱的人的影子？那就有永远不用离开他。"

”人总是在失去的时候才知道时间的速度"

“一秒钟遇见一个人
一分钟认识一个人
一小时喜欢一个人
一天时间爱上一个人
如果注定今生没有缘分...
就要用一辈子忘记一个人"

"只要学会包容不完美，就能一切完美"

everyday, today

i got reminded today how we shouldnt take anyone, anything and any day for granted...

Monday Blues (Not)

The only thing i was not so happy about today is having to start my day super early for the ward round. But on second thoughts, i better get used to it now, since it's going to be the case for a long time to come :)

Anyways, i sometimes lament about early days in hospitals cos i'm a morning person. Meaning i'm most fruitful and i should spend these precious hours doing something i really need my brain for, like reading my textbook. So you can imagine, if i dont get to read in the morning, i most likely dont get much done at the end of the day cos in the evening i'm always so tired. Hai.. sometimes i really wish i'm more disciplined and dont have such excuses :)

Today is a pretty good day cos i managed to find time to drop by queensway to find a pair of shoes to replace my nike shoes when the glue-stuck sole finally falls out. Friends who know me will know that i dont really like shopping for a specific item and prefer to buy things i like at first sight. Nevertheless, I thought today was a rare opportunity to get the shoes since i do not know when i'll be free next or get posted to AH again. It was a little discouraging at first cos i realise that most shoes now are white-base, when i have a preference for dark-coloured-base shoes cos they remain pristine looking for a longer time :) To make things worse, it wasnt nice shopping with my stupid heavy bag!

Since most shoes were largely white, i thought i might as well try asics which is also white-based too. Thankfully the uncle quoted me a pretty ok price and I settled with my first pair of asics :) yay.. Hopefully i will have many enjoyable times running in them to come!

Next happy thing was getting the coloured QA book for my student at bras brasah. It was totally unplanned cos the idea only came when my bus 33 happen to pass by bras brasah:) Thankfully they had it or i'd have made a wasted trip! I'm really hoping that my student will find this book useful, since it's coloured, it will prob help her rmbr the colours of the reagents which she has difficulty rmbring all the time :):) I was so sad last wk when i couldnt find it and realised that i must have given it away! Thankfully she now has a copy :)

Next good thing is i bought myself a new umbrella! I was real upset that i left my favourite brolly in the cab i took in Lijiang. I saw the same umbrella at bugis and it cos $44! I was tempted to get it, but what if i lose it again? Thankfully there were some brollies on sale and i bought one at $13 which was quite a steal :)

Lastly, today is pay day! If not for the recent costly lesson i was taught, perhaps today wont have as much significance :)

Bad things happen for a good reason.. right?

My student is back and i shall start tuition now :) Hope everyone's monday went ok!

Baking Started

I'm so happy today cos i actually overcame the inertia to bake again.
It was such a horrible inertia to overcome cos i had to
1) Pick a few recipes
2) Stock take
3) Stock up
4) Bake
5) Clean up

i was stuck long enough in (1) cos everything looked interesting and worthy of my first try! And it doesnt help that i have quite a few new additions to my baking book collection recently.

I very much wanted to try baking muffins, but i was afraid my oven just isnt up to it! i will be damn demoralised if they dont turn out right in the last step.

Then was the stock take. Gosh, i really havent baked for a gazillion years cos a gazillion things were expired! A lot are going to expire in aug.. i wonder if i will have a sudden surge in desire to bake in the wks to come!

Stocking up was fun cos it meant a visit to my g'old fave Phoon Huat. When i looked around, i was in awe cos they now carry quite a lot of new things!

Just like the star sprinklers i thought were apt on the chocolate bars that i made for my mother's sunday school students :)



I really love it!



... And i hope the kids will too! :)



Now i wonder when i will itch to bake again :)

post-osce saturday

A few friends commented that it's been a while since they last heard i baked.
It's true.. i cant even remember when was the last time i baked!

Today feels like an unusually 'light' day. Perhaps now that osces are over, it's like one less worry in my life. In retrospect, i think osce is a gd idea cos if not for it, we might only pick up the examination skills much later. agree?

Back to baking... my crave to do so came back after a friend asked me for recipes and I realised how untouched my cook books have been.

Sadly, i also realise tt i can no longer rmbr recipes at the back of my head. Gone were the days i could recite to u the ingredient list and how much of each ingredients u need to buy. sigh

If i want to bake today, i need to do stock check... I need to check for expiry dates and check if i have sufficient ingredients at home. In the past when i bake consistently, i knew at the tips of my fingers what i have at home and how much :)

Oh well, hope i'll have a gd saturday ahead :)

popcorn squeezing

there's this scene from a show stuck in my head tt i feel a lot for, somehow

a close-up shot of this girl squeezing her popcorn while quietly fighting back her tears in the cinema

somehow.

Perhaps u'd need to know the context of the story to fully appreciate why the director did this scene. To me, the scene was really well done.

shot of the popcorn was simple, yet added so much more to the scene :)

心痛

My phone fell twice in less than a week. My heart hurt awfully bad, cos this time i dropped it on the road.

This may be a small thing... but perhaps it's cos my threshold is lowered today.

why?

Forensic patho lectures were interesting.. Surprisingly, i didnt find the pictures of the unnatural deaths as disturbing. I'm actually more disturbed by the people responsible for them.

I was reminded today how innately carnal humans are. Some of the things people do to gratify, vent and escape is unbelivable.

Hope the day will get better!

At least i think i made my mom's day by buying megabite fish and chips :)

你没想像中爱我

I like this song from the 10pm show :)
Does anyone have it?



你小心翼翼 牵我手
其实是担忧 藏不住我
自尊也投降 活在她之下
我 好傻

你字字句句说 你不爱她
那又是什么 让你害怕
我疑惑但是原谅 因为你留下
我 好傻

不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来 你没想像中那么爱我
我不懂该拿什么安慰我的难受
你的存在 让我更寂寞

你寸步不离 像天使的她
挥霍我的爱 从不放心上
我有一丝无奈 也有一些明白
该 放开

不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来 你没想像中那么爱我
我不能再从你的怀抱感觉到什么
不爱我别再说 假装爱那是撒盐在伤口

谁说我不在意空等候
原来 你从来都没深刻爱我
我才懂不是我不心痛
其实是心没了感受

Tired day

I realise these few days that i actually learnt a lot of useful knowledge in A&E. Unfortunately, i cannot rmbr a lot of it :(

I wish i had memory of 'better resolution', cos stimes i rmbr where in the bk or where in the notes the answer lies, but all i can picture is a fuzzy image and i cant retrieve that info.

Well, on an optimistic note, i realise that it takes demoralising moments to 鞭策 yourself to improve. Sometimes i wonder when the transition from know it for a while to know it for good happens. I'm amazed myself how i can rmbr damn a lot during my tuition. How did all the info become so permanent?

I'm enjoying the 10pm show.. I like some of the ideas they explore.
Do you think people's opinion of you matter? Interestingly, it only occured to me today that we see ourselves less than the rest of the world watch us everyday. Does that make how we look like to the rest of the world very important?

Think about it :)

Interesting

I read this off someone's blog which in the context of the post is likely to be a quote from a movie.

"I love him for the man he wants to be, and the man he almost is."

What someone wants to be and what you think that someone is going to be may change.

Does this mean that the truest love is one that u love the person for who he/she innately is and that doesnt change?

another thought

after i published the last post, i got reminded of another thought i had the other day.

Sometimes u just need ONE person to say ONE right thing when u're in a difficult situation. It will have the effect of the right key unlocking the lock and the situation just seems not so bad after all.

For example, in a situation with a palpable tension, sometimes it just takes someone to say something (un)intentionally funny and the whole atmosphere will change.

I wonder how it feels like being the person analogous to the missing piece of the jigsaw completing the better picture.

Interesting isnt it?

Nostalgia

This is a must watch! Although only those involved in Orientation 2004 will fully appreciate it, there are plenty of delibrate funny moments :) Watch it till the end!



I had a thought today... i realise sometimes u just need the right person to complain to abt the thing that is bothering u and u'll feel better.
That person need not be someone who has been in the same situation before, someone who can empathise will suffice. Actually even more simply, someone u think can empathise or understand ur predicament is enough.

Perhaps this is why i stop complaining abt how tired i am sometimes, cos being with people who know what's draining me reminds me that i am not going through it alone. and That is sufficient.

Perhaps it is cos i have difficulty expressing myself sometimes and it might frustrate me more if i need to put in the extra effort to put my point across. Maybe that is why i just dont say anything if there's no one i think will understand. The moment i had to urge to say something will pass eventually.

Sometimes i need not tell a person. Telling a nobody like what i'm doing now makes me feel better. I'm glad that writing here helps me to explore some of my thoughts :)

Who should i tell at that i'm feeling nostalgic watching the video? :)

Treo 800w

Palm is launching a new Treo with wifi and gps.

Too bad the thought abt changing phone is so distant now :(

Rough day

I am so tired..

So tired that i rather go sleep than eat my dinner!

i shall rmbr today cos i learnt a lesson on the road.

Anatomy Revisited

I had a thought when i was lying in bed and i thought i should jot it down before i forget about it altogether.

I'm surprised to find myself enjoying ortho despite for my great dislike for anatomy in year one! In fact, ortho is making me appreciate anatomy more and i'm starting to like anatomy even :)

This led me to think that i would have liked anatomy from the start if the clinical applications were emphasised more.

Now that YYLSOM is revising their way of teaching, i really hope my juniors wont be like me.. reading most parts of my anatomy textbook for the first time in year 4!

Hope this post will preserve the moment that i believed i like anatomy. Haha...

Back to bed :) Good nights!

Old Songs

I was trying to be productive with my stuffy nose to no avail so i decided to listen to my old songs.

It's amazing how some old songs can tigger memories from long time ago that u thought u've forgotten!

For example,
I started A joke by wallflowers from the show zoolander which i watched at shu'en's house. I havent seen shu'en for a gazillion years!

I'll be there for you by bon jovi from the show a lot like love which i watched with kendrick. I heard the song in the OT when i watched my first orthopaedics surgery too! I actually rmbr telling marc that i was in for a good day after hearing that song!

I like how simple the song lyrics is
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what my love can do
I'll be there for you

Then there were sad emo songs by Jeff chang

There were also good old favourites like Truly madly deeply from PRIMARY SCHOOL times and Soulful strut from the parent trap!:)

There was also this song by Vonda shephard that took me by surprise how surprisingly sad it was too :(

Song lyrics of the old songs i listened to today are all on my lyrics page which i last updated in 2006 (one entry) and 2004!

Time really flies.. one day my favourite jay chou songs will become oldies!!

New Winner

i realised that i've become quite a junkie. While kendrick is swimming and gyming away, i am usually so tired after my day at the hospital that i havent ran or gym for a gazillion years...

Perhaps i should swim soon to do my eczematous lesion over my ASIS some good. It's darn distractingly irritating, but i guess i should be thankful that it isnt visible to the whole world :) On an interesting thought, it's not really responsive to betamethasone and the lesion looks more urticarial than eczematous.. should i let the doctor biopsy it?

Oh wells.. back to why i'm blogging in the first place, i think i've got a new favourite chocolate.



I shall ration it while i recover for this stupid bug! :)

Spirited Away

I ought to catch more of miyazaki's works cos i've only watched totoro and spirited away and i like both of them a lot.

The spirited away soundtrack should be very nice! Does anyone have it?





In both of the shows, there are really cute characters.. My memory of totoro is a little fuzzy, but i rmbr the dustballs with eyes :) Quite cute.. In spirited away, the dustballs feed on presumbly sweets that are star-shaped which are really cute too.

I dont have the ability to adeuqately describe why i like the show, how the plot developed and the subtleness of words spoken. I definitely wont do the show justice..

So, go watch them urselves! I only have the spirited away dvd which anyone can feel free to borrow :)

Hope everyone will have a gd weekend!

Wow-ed

I was sleepy again at my usual 10-ish time when i saw the specs of HTC Touch Pro.
I must admit that it is damn nice and my treo pales so much when compared to it.

In a way, it's like HTC touch diamond which wenhui has + keypad. Keypad-less was the only complain i had abt HTC touch diamond, so this makes HTC touch pro the perfect phone now.

It's really interesting that htc knows that there are stubborn people like me who die die must have keypad :) haha

Despite being heavier, i think it's TouchFLO 3D finger swipe navigation which makes it so i-phone-ish, wifi, better camera and sleekness makes it worth it.

For the time being, treo is still serving me well... perhaps when it is time for it to retire, my dear treo might have a successor of its kind! :)



Till then :)

Joint Hypermobility Syndrome

My beigton score is quite high! I need a goniometer to measure my hyperextension at my elbow and knee joint though...

You can calculate urs too...


When my tutor estimated that my score is about 6, i worriedly asked what kind of injuries i am prone to...

His reply was,"Congrats, i think u can join the China Circus!"

Down

For the past 2 weeks, i have been sleeping before 10 and ystdy was the first day i was still awake at 12.30! Guess i've been prodromal for the bug my mom had and this morning i woke up with blocked nose and a painful throat.

I hate sore throats.. i thought i could eat mian can can today, but i had to eat porridge -.-

Ok la.. not to bad.. at least i can still swallow :)

Long day ahead starting with OT in the morning, tutorial in the late afternoon and tuition in the evening.

Hopefully i will survive them all! :):)

JC class

I'm so glad i went to meet my JC friends despite my abdominal colic today. The discomfort was awful but laughters soon made me forget abt it!

In fact, i was having so much fun tt i only rmbr to take photos when we were about to leave :(



Because the first photo look too formal (velda says like chinese new year family photo), we decided to take another one!


Ennie told me that he counted during lunch that out of the 11 pple who were there, 6 are in medical school! That's more than half!

Anyway, i think time really flies.. some of my classmates have graduated already. I feel quite old!

How did 22 years of my life pass by just like that?

Hope there'll be more class gatherings to come.

Though i dont think zepeng reads my blog, i must say i'm really impressed that he kept to his word. The last time we had class gathering (popiah party at chun's place), he said in my car that he'll organise the next one. Indeed! :)

y'know, now that the fun is over, my colic is back again :S Hope i will still enjoy my dimsum buffet tmr!

I shall try to sleep it away :) Good night