Missing daddy

My daddy flew over to phuket with the rescue team ystdy. I know it's only been a day but i've started to miss him soo bad. It's just so different having to wake up on my own with 2 alarm clocks [haa.. with jon being the third -grin-(thx jon!)] Hope my dad will come back safe and sound.. OHYA! My great daddy was on news last night. Made me super proud of him :) Sadly, though he's on a noble mission, i cant help but be upset tt i cant celebrate his bdae (03/01) for him and he wont be there to celebrate mine too :( On the left is my dad celebrating my 2nd bdae. I dont look like my dad then, but now i do -grin-

i love my shoe!

I havent love any pair of shoe this much! This pair is handmade and reminds me soo much of my ballet shoes. I wore them to work today and they just make me want to skip ard office. Haa.. i must say nothing could have made my happy day more perfect! There's even carvings at the soles, though i think they'll be worn off soon :( So i sketched the carvings below :)

da Vinci

I've been reading Angels & Demons by the same author of Da Vinci's code. It's an absolute thumbs up! Well, coincidentally, Singapore has started to offer robot surgery using da Vinci Surgical System. I heard with this robot, countless complex operations have now become minimally invasive procedures. It's amazing how we usually lose 600-800cc of blood during surgery, but with this robot, it's just abt 100cc. Sounds like this new type of surgery can potentially make surgery less painful and traumatic ;)

a child at heart

Work's been tiring me from head to toe! But it's altogether exciting when i get to squeeze so much into a day :) Sometimes when i'm done with work, i'd go down to the clinic in hope to learn sth and sometimes i'd drag myself to meet up with friends, go for gatherings and outings after work. Sounds terrible? Actually, if u ask me, the most terrible thing's lotsa good food + little opportunity to move ard. This is really bad.. i'm feeling unhealthy!
Talking abt a child at heart. Rmbr those times when u just go ahead to do sth which u're told not to do? I felt the same way when i got invited to dance. My new shoes were killing my feet but i went ahead :) *lol* I must have looked awful. I dont regret it though, it made the day so perfect! *beams* *lifts an unwrapped present*

Eternity

Close your eyes so you don't feel them,
They don't need to see you cry.
I can't promise I will heal you,
But if you want to, I will try

I sing this somber serenade,
The past is done, we've been betrayed, it's true
Someone said the truth will out,
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreaming,
and you gave me what I need.
And I hope you find your freedom,
for eternity...for eternity.

Yesterday when you were walking,
We talked about your mom and dad.
What they did that made you happy,
What they did that made you sad.

We sat and watched the sun go down,
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young,
Before you know it's come and gone, too soon
for eternity

Missing Cambridge

It's been exactly a year since i left for cambridge. The thought of it makes me miss cambridge miserably.. Hmm... especially after knowing for sure tt i wont be studying there since i didnt even apply :( I miss the streets there, I miss their scones, I miss my dorm, I miss the colour of the lawn, i miss the morning dew, i miss the breeze.. In short i miss everything!
The gd news is it's probably not as bad as it sounds:) At least i can say for sure that i'm making the most out of my hols. I'm learning so much from my job and from things i read. Will share some with you soon :)
Back to work :)

the universal language

i learnt today that the language that everyone on earth is capable of understanding in their hearts is love.

thanks nic for the book! it taught me soo much

Heart

my new hp wallpaper
Now that my exams are over, i am at lost for what to do. Argh, cant believe it, i thought having a list would help, but the prob now is where to start!
I'd definitely want to catch up with my friends. I miss so many people! :)
AND, i have lots of things to work on. I'm such a boring person, someone suggested tt i should work up a temper. WATCHOUT, i'll be angry at u next :)

in love with koalas

I decided to go to my grandma's place early today and caught her by surprise! We watched animal planet together and it's amazing how something so simple could fill my heart with warmth. It's nice being able to laugh together, talk about animals we both love and practise my dialect at the same time. Haa.. Sometimes i'm really thankful that i had the opportunity to grow up at my grandma's. She taught me so much! I still remember how she had 18 cats and dogs, had birds, fishes, tortises and i joined her collection by keeping butterflies and tadpoles. Have u seen the life cycles of butterflies, frogs and snails? Well i have! :) She taught me how to differentiate butterflies from moths, taught me some gardening skills and i was so shocked that i have to learn these techniques in school. My grandma never had formal education but she knew all about bud grafting and all the vegetative propagation methods which i learn in bio. She said it's all from experience. I was so -whoa-ed- Makes me wonder abt education stimes. It's interesting how formal education may be beneficial to only some pple while it's a complete waste of time for others. Hmm.. anyway, the programme i watched today was about koalas. They're so adorable arent they?
I've been wondering, will my love for bio make me change my mind abt doing medicine. My teacher really talked me into considering teaching. Hee.. If i do, i hope i'll be as gd as him! Then again, when my granny asked if i've ever considered veterinarian science today, it set me thinking about this new option. ARGH... this isnt doing much good to my determination to get into nus medicine. I really want to (trying to convince myself here.. haa) but there just seems so many favourable options. Guess it may be harmful tt i have so many interests..
Alright, i better get back to work. I get real excited when i think about my exams ending in 6 days! Yippee!! :) Hang in there everyone :) last stretch, give ur best shot and make this a home run!
I've got lots to do aft a's. Too many... ... ...

*jumps in delight*

My current hp background :)
I'm so happy today! :) Elated! Overjoyed! *skips around* Whoohoo!!! The funny thing is i dont exactly know why :) But it's partly cos i dont know why that sent me over the hills. You probably think i'm mad now :) Maybe i am, but i hope not. Hmm.. I spent some time thinking abt what i'm going to do after my exams. I'm definitely going to bake lotsa cookies and cakes for x'mas, read all the books i always have to stop myself from reaching to the shelves in the library now, go fishing, go cycling, learn to drive, save money for my trip to somewhere, plan for my trip, earn some money if i can, catch up with my pri sch / secondary sch friends, PLAY, call my host in germany, send them parcels.. the list just never ends.
I'm sure u have an idea of how deprived i am now. I'm really looking forward to all this rubbish ending!
Hmm.. i'll post sth interesting next time.

pumpkin Halloween!

Helllooo! havent been around for ages and was quite surprised to find lorrie visiting this place. Hello 小花！ *BIG wave* Anyway, i was shocked (actually maybe not) that i only have a grand total of 2 post in October. Hee.. 'cos i use to post every other day! :) Alright, i'll take it as a good sign that i'm finally getting serious with my work.
Hmm.. a bit abt halloween.. Heard the ex-pats in sg celebrate halloween. Really wonder what it is like to have little kids dressed in scary costumes showing at my doorstep to ask for sweets. Halloween sounds like an interesting festival. I ought to find out how it came about! :) I'm really curious.. why are pumpkins used during haloween? hee.. I rmbr seeing a giant pumpkin in australia but i cant find the pic i took with it.
Here's a pic i really like by a photographer i really like too! Thought it's apt to put it up today since it's halloween :)
Alright, it's getting late. I should be hitting the hay soon :):) i'll post again when i have something to share and when i have time of course! :)

terribly bushed

HEYo! :) Havent written for very long.. guess it's a gd sign cos at least i know that i've been doing work *beams* It upsets me sometimes when i realise my studies take up so much of my time which i could have spent with my loved ones.. Just ystdy, i decided to visit my grandma in the aft. Though i go there almost every week, it's the first time i stayed at her place for so long in a very long while. Hmm.. she was so happy to see me and she even forgo her fave programme on animal planet to cook brocolli for me. I was so touched cos (i) she rmbrs tt i love brocolli (ii) she could guess i was hungry (iii) i could tell how much she loves me. *aww* Ystdy really reminded me of days of my childhood spent with her. :) The part that upsets me though was when I saw her great difficulty when she tried to make her way upstairs. She declined my offer to help with a smile and said,"y'know, stimes i feel that i'm really getting old." Think it must have been more than 10 yrs since i last tried to calculate her age, cos i rmbr the last time when i did, i tried to use my fingers and toes to help me. Where have i been for the last 10 or more yrs? What have i been busy with? :(

i want to be a doctor!

Hee.. i have a black sesame snap from Malaysia on one hand now :) I love black sesame! Just came back yesterday and i cant wait to share some of the things i thought/read abt during my trip! :) Hmm.. Genting changed so much since i last went there! I guess i was supposed to enjoy myself more since the place now has more games, more hotels and more casinos but being such a nature lover, i wasnt very impressed by the man-made attractions, especially when it was so profit-driven. Perhaps i would have gotten a better break if my family had gone to a beach instead, but i'm thankful for this trip nevertheless. At least the weather was great and i had time to not think abt work *beams* I thought abt my university applications too :)
I have decided that NUS Medicine remains as my first choice and my back up plan would be to read medical science in UK and then re-apply to medical sch as a graduate entrant. :) What do you think? I'm not sure if i should apply to do biomedical engineering. When i read up abt it, there's so little bio and so much physics in it that i'm not sure if i'm up to it. The funny thing was when i read the overview of their course, the first person i thought to be most suitable has to be Matthew!
Hmm.. i was asked recently why do i want to be a doctor so much. Especially why apply to medical sch again if i graduate with a degree in medical science when it's very sufficient to begin a career. I guess i just cant imagine myself being a Medical reseacher with minimal patient contact. Human relations literally fuels me :) Hee.. those who know me will know how i like working with people :) Also, with a medical degree, i'd probably be in a better position to help those in a life and death situations. I dream abt being a freelance doctor sometimes. It just seems such a worthy calling and i'm sure it'll be especially fufilling to help out in the third world countries. During my trip, i realise that it is not just the poor in developing countries that need help, there's an emerging concern abt the threats children in developed countries face too. For example, there's so many people around with different kinds of allergies. It's not only the types of allergies have increased, the severity too. As implausible as it may sound, some doctors say that this self-generated danger could be a modern epidemic. What do you think?
I'll share my other thoughts / discoveries some other day :)

Radios In Heaven

I'm overwhelmed by this sudden saddness tt's scaring myself, cos it doesnt happen very often :( Hmm.. maybe it's cos i almost forgot today is 中秋节. You're probably thinking there's no big deal ya? I guess i just felt so bad, so terrible for forgetting a deal i made with a friend last year. The incident kinda triggered many other thoughts tt cause my nose-diving mood. When i was listening to the song Radios in Heaven, i got reminded of my loved ones in Heaven. I started to miss them badly and all :( I've got the lyrics below, read it and you'll know what i mean.

Actually, i have all the reason to be happy with my day, so i shall stop complaining. I went back my my pri sch out of ennui and curiosity and I felt really welcome, though it's a new school compound and all. A lot of tchrs/support staff actually rmbr me! It's really flattering i must say. My teachers encouraged me to leave my name with the office so that they can contact me if they need a relief teacher next year. It got me so excited, cos i've finally found something meaningful to do after A's.

Alright, i dont feel like writing anymore. I'll be outa town, so i prob wont post for a few days.. Hope my mood will pick up soon!

Radios in Heaven
Your time has already come and I don't know why
The last thing that I had heard
you were doin' just fine
It seems like just yesterday
I was laughing with you
Playing games at Grandma's house
well you taught me well, didn't you?
I hope I'm just like you

Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
'Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you

You left before I had a chance to say goodbye
But that's the way life usually is
it just passes you by
But you can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back
So I'll just be thankful for the times that I had with you
I hope I'm just like you

Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
'Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you
If they don't have radios in heaven
here's what I'll do
I can bring my guitar when my time is up and I'll play it for you

Tell me can you hear me now
if not, then I can try to sing real loud
What's it like up on the other side of the clouds?
I hope I'm just like you
I hope I turn out to be as good as you


Get what i mean?

Thinking abt Tmr

You wont believe what i did all day. (Alright, it's almost all day) I attempted to read all my TIME magazines! It's unfortunately out of guilt cos the fact tt i have to pay the expensive subscription fees has come back to haunt me. Haa.. if only this happens more often, then i probably wouldnt have accumulated a pile worth of unwrapped magazines :)
I read abt an interesting new exhibit at London's National Portrait Gallery called David. It's an intimate portrait, which was shot in a single long take. Beckham was filmed sleeping, after training in Madrid. The video of the slumbering football hero played on a plasma screen presents a reverential and vulnerable image of this international football icon. It would be amazing if i could see it for myself! I'm not a fan of Bechkham but what truly amazed me was the profound combination of today's advance technology and Art. Think abt it, the artist has created a portrait by a modern means. I'm sure it's intriguing to see someone so famously handsome fast asleep :)The soft flicker of his eyelashes and little movements then -- nothing happens :)
I really have a great liking for modern art. I truly enjoyed myself when i was at Tate modern :) The pic here shows the first exhibit that left me in awe. Look carefully at the orange-lit circle. It's actually one orange-lit semi-circle made into a circle using a gigantic mirror. I rmbr lying on the floor to see my reflection in the ceiling. It's AMAZING i tell you :) Hmm... sadly, my love for the Arts is probably going to make it hard for me to find travelling companion. I rmbr audry saying, "if we go backpacking together, dont bring me to Art-sy places ok?"
Seeing Jamie Oliver on TV today triggered another brainwave. Being a TV presenter/chef of a gourmet programme seemes like an interesting job! *grin* Haa.. too bad i'm prob not up to it cos i tend to get all nervous and tongue-tied easily :) Hee.. guess the passion to cook is inadequate. I'm still sticking to being like Donna Hay. Ivy loves to cook, Ivy loves to give food a touch of ART..
Now, do i sound like i want to become a doctor? *lol*

Childhood Memories

I really wonder where my childhood playmates are now. Wonder how they're doing and i wonder if any of them is amongst my circle of friends now! :) Just today, i found out that Matthew and i went to the same kindergarten. What a coincidence! It'll be super cool if we were even classmates :) Guess we'll have to dig out our photos to find out :)

My cousin was my bestest childhood friend! There wasnt anything we didnt include each other in. I miss her soo much :) Havent seen much of her for years, cos she's always not around for the family gatherings :( Hope everything is going well on her side.

Apple Cinnamon Tea Cake

Tadan! This is the cake that made me so happy today. No one was home to see how thrilled i was and i dont think u're able to imagine how excited i became when the cake was turning golden brown :) *lol* It's such an amazing thing to be able to do sth i've always wanted to do *beams*
Hmm... eggs seems to be a priced commodity here. No shop in my neighbourhood had eggs and i only found 'em after walking a 4 bus-stop distance. Aiyoh.. they're so expensive! but i since i didn't want my search to be fruitless, i bought them anyway :)
Hope i get to bake again soon! :)

das Essen

I was just reading a book by donna hay. I like her job! I want to be cook, be a food stylist, be food photographer and be a food author :) Haa.. what a great deviation from what i think i really want to be now.. I once bounced the idea off my mom and only response i got back was,"In that case, why dont you quit school now?" She never thought highly of a career dealing with food :( Dont think my mom will ever approve :( BUT! i had a brainwave just now. If i ever have enough capital, i'll open a very "ivy" shop. It'll sell some art stuff, some cookware, books, postcards with nice pictures (prob on food, children and nature) and perhaps furniture which i get to design! :) haa.. What a dream! The shop will allow me to do everything i really love to do. Design, Art, Cook, Play, take photos! Ok.. i think i'm overly excited abt something which seems almost impossible to come true :(

I have big plans for today. I'm going to compile all the recipies i love from the books i borrowed ystdy. Hopefully start to read the pile of unread time and national geographic and most importantly, study for bio :)Last paper tmr!

I got myself a bar of orange chocolate ystdy! Whoa, i'll be so fulfilled for a very long time :)

i'm back!

Helllooo!!! I miss my com, i miss the internet and most imptly i miss posting stuff here! :) My internet connection went dead after i updated my windows xp. Gosh.. at first i was quite ~!@#$ abt it, but hee.. but a look back, i realise it was a blessing in disguise. I wouldnt have done was much work at home if i had internet access over the hols *grin* :) Anyway, i must tell you that my first week of exams was quite horrible. Sth is terribly wrong with me this week cos something Terrible has to happen Everyday! Dont laugh i mean it ok!!!
Monday: My watch slowed down during my math paper and eventually stopped. Guess what? i actually wondered for a while how come time was passing so slowly.
Tuesday: My calculator broke down during the exam. It displayed gibberish when i keyed in the values. Can you imagine? i panicked like mad cos i only brought 1 calculator.
Wednesday:I was distraught after my bio paper. It's my fave subject and for the first time, i didnt finish it!!! ahh!!
Thursday: Almost forgot to bring my calculator and my badge broke. Ahh.. and the physics dept totally killed us. I was so upset! i could possibly fail... actually not possibly, definitely. :(
Friday, today!So far, the day has been ok :) My biology paper 3 wasnt tt at all great but i dont blame myself cos i went to bed early last night..

There you go :) My terrible terrible week... Hey Jon, really want to thank you for cheering me up esp aft bio :) I wouldnt have survived this week without you! :)

Mirai e

i really love this song :) Hmm.. wish someone could tell me what it means :)

Hora ashimoto wo mitegoran
Kore ga anata no ayumu michi
Hora mae wo mitegoran
Are ga anata no mirai

Haha ga kureta takusan no yasashisa
Ai wo idaite ayume to kurikaeshita
Ano toki wa mada osanakute imi nado shiranai
Sonna watashi no te wo nigiri
Issho ni ayundekita

Yume wa itsumo sora takaku aru kara
Todokanakute kowai ne dakedo oitsuzukeru no
Jibun no sutoorii dakara koso akirametakunai
Fuan ni naru to te wo nigiri
Issho ni ayundekita

sono yasashi wo toki ni wa iyagari
Hanareta haha e sunao ni narezu

Mirai e mukatte yukkuri to aruite yukou

Been wondering

I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
cos you are the one

I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child that lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
since you've gone away

i feel cheated!

A pitiful-looking old man approached me when i was on my way to the neighbourhood coffee shop. He said he has lost his wallet and needed money urgently to take public transport. I was initially quite hesitant cos he sounded rather dubious, but since he only asked for $2 i thought i'd just give him the benefit of the doubt. HAIYOH.. after i picked up my lunch and was on my way home, i saw the same old man still lurking ard the void deck. It got me so upset! I dislike it when people take advantage of people's kindness. Perhaps from a more visceral point of view, the old man was really in need of money. If he earns $2 per lie, how many times does he have to lie? :*(

Doing what i do best

I was so disturbed ystdy! Rmbr my entry on my buddies? i started the day well and i was full of hope to accomplish a lot too. Well, it certainly didnt turn out tt way. Whatever i felt scared me a lot, cos i've always thought my optmism was formidable! Hmm.. guess it's natural, at least i've come this far! Glad tt i'm getting to know myself better :) *smile*
I must have fallen asleep quite early last night cos i woke up early today, which is usually not the case on Sunday :)Haa.. i did what i do best - running! It's the best way to give myself affirmation that i'm still strong *pts to head* up here! Well, i thought of sth quite interesting while running too. I was thinking in chinese, so here it is:

真正的胜利不在于不曾失败 , 而是屡仆屡起。
毅力并非长跑 , 而是一次又一次的短跑。

I'm looking forward to a real good day. Hope everything'll turn our fine!

:(

Buddies!

These are my council buddies! :) From left: Alvina, me! and Kecheng. Alvina's from the 22nd council and kecheng's from 21st. Hmm.. I think alvina is still on the plane on her way to Newyork! :) When i was at the airport ystdy, i felt this sudden impulse to get a tic and fly off somewhere the very moment! Maybe with my buddy, maybe to somewhere i've always wanted to go. Ha.. shows how much i wanna run away from A's huh? Anyway, sending alvina off made me wonder if i really want to do medicine in singapore. It just seems so excting to fly off to somewhere possibly i've never been to study for a few yrs, do you think? It's upsetting tt i can no longer say "I want to do medicine here" in conviction. Then again, kecheng says it's a life time exchange thing. Medicine has more to offer for a lifetime.. :)
Alright, i better get back to work.. bleah.. :(

4 Seasons

I love this song! :)

Longer Than
Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you...

elegance

I was reading TIME magazine when this rolex advertisement caught my attention. Dont you think that the ballerina's sheer elegance is so captivating? :) The slogan reads "Her movements tell a story for which no language has words."
This advert made me realise how out of touch i am with ballet. I havent seen a ballet performance for a while! Hmm.. hope esplanade will have another nice ballet performance after my A's :)

Twinkle Twinkle

A thousand coruscating light in the deep blue sky.. this is a sight i wish to behold someday:) Hmm.. not sure if you've heard of light pollution. Apparently, not as many stars are visible in cities cos our surroundings are too bright for our eyes to perceive the contrast. I found it quite interesting. Ohh.. Did you know that the nearest star is so far away that even its light takes years to reach Earth? In other words, the stars we see now are probably elsewhere now :)

Everyone needs a Hug sometimes

I really like this pic :) It's not just because i simply love pictures featuring children, but this pic certainly means a lot to me. I was reminded of how i appreciate a tight squeeze every now and then and how it makes me so happy when i receive one! Haa.. very much like the little girl here. *grin*
I'd like to share this pic with those who have been there to give me a hug when i needed one most :)
As you can see.. my mood's picking up a bit. I hope it'll be uphill all the way from here :) I'll tell you more when i next have the time alright? Gtg for now. *Waves*

:)

When Somebody loved me

I posted the prev post in sch cos i really needed some kind of escape after a long day of sch. For awhile, it was difficult to accept how i was feelin' and i asked myself repeatedly:" where's the happy cheerful ivy who is always so full of energy?" I didn't regret having decided to give myself a gd break ystdy though *beams*. I slept a full 10 hours! what a luxury :)
While i was lying in bed last night, i figured that there are 2 very normal, simple and routine things everyone [i hope :)] does daily that i like very much. I like to bathe cos there's sth therapeutic abt it :) It's nice to feel water gushing down and easing all the sore and tension away. I like to sleep too! :) I especially like hugging my bolster! Come to think abt it.. i havent been to a hotel that offers bolster! :)
Anyway, here's a beautiful but sad song. It was the last song i listened to before i embark on my 10 hour sleep :) And the last thing i thought to myself was: it's not a bad idea to have someone loving you afterall :)

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart

And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy so was I
When she loved me

Through the Summer and the Fall
We had each other
That was all
Just she and I together
Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
And I knew when she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day
when she'd say
I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten
Never thought she'd look my way
She smiled at me and held me
Just like she used to do
Like she loved me
When she loved me

Lying in a pile of...

Hey there! I havent written here for a few days. Maybe it's good news that i have finally settled down for real to do my work. I try to stay in sch to do work, cos my home is really like a temptation island. Imagine this: if i sit down to do work.. to my left is the TV, behind me is the bed and just a few steps away is the computer. I've never understood why i lack self discipline.. didnt used to be the case.. Hmm.. mb it's a reflection of how i need a form of distraction to de-stress...
Well, anyway, i've been mentally fatigue from all the things i'm expected to commit to my goldfish memory. Luckily there's running and lotsa food to make me smile in school :) I like this pic, it's a good reflection of how i feel these days, but for my case, i'll be lying on piles of books :)

Heart

Guess you can see that my entries are getting shorter :) I really like sharing things i've seen and thought abt with everyone but it's really becoming more challenging by the day cos of time constraints. It's comforting to know tt it's my way of putting my mind off work momentarily :) So.. Today's entry is just a quote.
"It's better to give others a piece of your heart
than a piece of your mind"
The pic was from an exhibition i went to in London called Earth from the Air. This was my fave pic and isnt it amazing that the heart-shaped clearing's all natural? It's quite appropriate to share it together with the quote too *grin*

Sunset in Bali

每人有的记忆都不同，

但我们总觉得自己的最漂亮。我想记得的有好多好多，但偏偏恨不得想遗忘的却爱逗留久一些。或许人生真的犹如沙滩，

一切欢笑足迹，将被时光的流水冲涤得一干二净。你是否有在匆匆而来的海浪上岸前把一切所要记住的都抄写在心版上？
在浪花消失后，
人不在了，时光也消翳了。
朋友，你还在等什么？-薇

Rainbows

This is the pic i placed near my study area. I see it whenever i look up from my work! There's this thing tt draws me to a rainbow, guess it's just not its beauty but also the whole air of mystery that comes with it.
Looking at rainbows reminds me so much of my eagerness to see one when i was young :) Perhaps, in a way, i feel youthful again whenever one appears ;)

My fave. rainbow songs: Rainbow connection (thx jon!) and I can Sing a Rainbow

Starry Starry Night

I rmbr when i was on an immersion programme in germany, my host family drove down to the Art museum in Frankfrut. It was the first time i was exposed to such quality exhibits! The interesting thing was when u're in the art gallery, you're surrounded by this air of.. oh no.. i can't describe it. You have to feel it for yourself, it's this feeling of being surrounded by VERY expensive artefacts and people there all seem to be an expert in art, or people who really knew how to appreciate Art. Anyway, i got to see one of Van Gough's most outstanding piece known as the "Sunflower". I've always thought that tt's his best in my opinion until Jon sent me this song called Vincent by Don Mclean and the pic of "starry starry night". That's the pic I've shown here but scaled down, you can click on it to see the larger version. On the bigger version, you can see his characteristic brushstrokes. I love the swirl he created in the nightsky! :) Abt the song... it kinda grew on me when i listened to it a few times. I was especially upset when i found out Van gough killed himself after he painted this. :*( Here's the lyrics.. it's worth a read :)

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as
beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They did not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Oink!

I came across an interesting article abt Pigs today. Guess it's not surprising at all that i stopped to read it, since i'm quite a Pig fan :) Hmm.. Pigs have gained themselves an undeserved reputation for slovenliness. People always picture them with this mucky appearance but the real reason why they always wallow in mud is cos they dont sweat and it's their way of cooling down. Gosh.. makes you wonder where the nasty remark "you sweat like a pig" come from huh? Apparently, contrary to popular belief, pigs are in fact some of the cleanest animals around. Given a choice, they'd refuse to excrete anywhere near their living or eating areas too.
My heart goes out to these adorable pigs. They are misunderstood in so many ways! Many people think of them as portly and stupid, but pigs are actually really intelligent. Pigs are smarter than any other domestic animal and are considered by animal experts to be more trainable than dogs or cats. Surprise surprise! :)
I used to want to keep a pig as a pet but my parents thought i was mad so i got myself a guinea pig. Haa.. dont laugh but it was true! :) Hope i after reading this you can take a look at these Oinks in a different light. I have some cute pics!

silence

Gosh! My head is so cluttered with biotechnology... one thing about biotech that really challenges me is the tremendous amt of figures, definitions and names of microorganisms the examiners expect us to commit to memory. I tell you, i find it sooo terrible! Thiobacillus ferrooxidans, Escherichia coli, Zooglea ramigera, Methanobacterium, Asperigillus fumigatus.. Let's see how someone with a goldfish like me can survive! *lol* Anyway, the pic shown here is a classical album i bought in sec 2. I was listening to it when i was studying bio. Hmm.. i like track 2: Valse by Chopin. It reminded me of my ballet classes cos i remember the more advanced dancers dancing to it. Hmm.. it reminded me of Florrine too! She always sounded good when she plays Chopin. There was this track by Schubert that i liked as well. Hmm... think it's called Arpeggione :)
Well, looks like i may be on my way to listen to all my classical albums soon!

a purpose driven life

a friend of mine recommended the book "The purpose driven life" and just when i was going to get my hands on a copy, a church elder said he'll get each of us one :) Hmm.. can't wait to read it, since everyone's thumbs up for tt book.
A purposed driven life.. guess there's a purpose to our existence. I've always believed that there's some sorta role i'm supposed to fufil here. Once asked abt it, i said my life's motto is to let those who get to know me leave gaining a new knowledge. I really like the whole philosphy of teaching. If you want to ask why i'm not considering teaching as a career, you'd be the 10 thousandth (ok.. i'm exaggerating) person. Sure, i do have the interest, but if given a chance, i'll actually choose to teach in a kindergarten. I feel tt there's this need for kids to first love to learn before being taught to learn. It upsets me when i see my little cousins being introduced to rote learning :( But why not a teacher? I guess i still can teach without being in a school, but i can't do medicine (or any related discipline) without being trained to be one. I'll leave you with a quote:

"Our God works to transform us
Till life on earth is done
He uses trials and testings
To make us like His Son"

Porcupine

*feeling groggy* Just woke up from an afternoon nap and since i can't get back to work right away, thought i'll just share with you about porcupines :) This zoologist made an observation: Contrary to the popular belief, porcupines are not always alone. Most people think that they'll hurt whoever who comes near with their quills, but every Nov & Dec, porcupines get close enough to produce offspring.

Some people can be difficult to love,
And so we do not even try to care.
But God says," Love them just as I've loved you."
You'll bring Me Glory as My love you share.

I'm always motivated by this thought abt unconditional love. But it has this "it's too good to be true" thing to it. It makes me feel special when the Lord extends his unconditional love to us all and it is really sth i want to share from my relationship with Him. It's unfortunate though that people always think there's a motive behind every good deed :(

One of the reason why i love children is cos they love unconditionally naturally. It makes me wonder.. what happened to this quality when we grow up? It's not the only thing lost. A look around people around me, i find tt as we grow older, we lose that sense of wonder too. Didn't we use to ask "why?" alot, don't you rmbr some of your endless search for something precious, didn't we use to get all excited abt our daily discoveries?

Now, when was the last time you did sth for the first time? :)

"God loves you and me - let's love each other."

all abt discipline!

Hey! I've decided to write sth abt the discipline i'm expecting from myself for the next few mths. Those of u who read this, must encourage me ok? Hee.. especially those who have seen the naughty and playful side of me ;) I shall attempt to tell myself my ultimate goal is 4As: 4As ivy!!! 4As! I want my 4As! :) I hope my faith in the Lord would grow stronger during this period too :) Hmm.. i'll work very hard!
To Jon: I hope i can see the stars over ur side :) Haa.. this is indeed gd motivation man!
To everyone else: Study hard and i'll rmbr all of you in my prayers. God bless

cleared 4.8!

Hooray!! There wont be school until next wed :) It makes me happy cos i'll get to rest while i get more work done efficiently. I find it a little difficult to do my revision while keeping up with the last part of the syllabus, but it's indeed comforting to know that we're only left with math to complete! *yay!* Hmm... National day is round the corner, hope i get to hear this classmate of mine sing the national anthem! You see, i once asked him why he never sings it during assembly and his ans was he sings it only once a year to let Singapore know he really means it :) He's one of the most hilarious person i know, hope it tickled u a little too. Oh!!! before i go, i must tell you I ran 4.8km today. I feel so much fitter! *lol*

John 14

²⁷Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I was really comforted after reading those lines. I read it over and over again and it had the effect of Peace blooming within me. Hmm.. It's true isn't it? That we need not be worried, troubled or afraid 'cos surely we're of more value than the birds of the air. They neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet our heavenly Father feeds them. *sigh* but it would be a lie to say I don't worry.. I'm really trying to juggle 10 thousand and one balls right now and barely managing. Where has all the Peace gone? It's really easier said than done... Whenever i lay down on my bed, i can't help but think abt where i should go, what course i should take, scholarships tt i can apply and definitely whether i'll do well for my prelims and A'levels. Ohyesh! The saddest thing i had to do recently was to make myself accept the fact that Cambridge is all but an impossible dream. It's just so unbelievable when i was just there a few mths ago :(
Luckily, on a happier note, it wasn't too difficult either, cos it's not the end of the world! I was so thrilled to hear Cardiff Uni is located at the same place where Cadbury chocolate originated. How cool! Don't laugh ok, but i'm going to find out if they offer the course i'm interested in later
Hmm... we're into week 6 already. *!!!* I just hope for the following weeks to come, i'll say a prayer instead of panicking like mad pig. Hope i'll find the strength and wisdom i need :) May the Lord blesses everyone :)

the matrix

when i watched the matrix many yrs ago, i didn't really think too much into what was being said or shown. do you rmbr morpheus offering neo 2 pills: a red and a blue, which neo took the red? I was told that the red represented truth. You see, neo wanted to know what the matrix was all about. He found out that to think that our day-in, day-out world is real was just a perception and Reality was the world is a hoax, an elaborate deception spun by all-powerful machines of artificial intelligence that control us. I was quite amazed by how the plot was so well thought out. I paid attention the littl-est details and there didn't seem to be a slightest ambiguity.
Believe the unbelievable The machines found their infinite source of energy, that's the human brain power. The world we live in was given to us with the ultimate aim to fuel them. How creepy....
The blue pill represented blissful ignorance. Given a choice would you choose the truth or to stay ignorant? Maybe i would choose to be oblivious, for with knowledge comes responsibility. Of course, it's not that i dislike taking up responsibilities but given the context of having to save/awaken the entire world and be such a messiahic figure just frightens me. What abt you?
I like the part which they mentioned abt deja vu though :) i like their explanation :)

Light in your eyes

Give me the eyes of faith,
so that i can love you.
Give me the eyes of faith,
so i will not have fear

i was surprised to sing this 2 lines during in service ysterday and to add to the surprise factor, they were sung in dialect too! It kinda struck a chord within me cos i could almost feel the "faith" the song was referring to. It amazed me how they described it using eyes. I cant exactly put what i felt in words but it's along the lines of a blooming flower or the sight of the first light in darkness. Perhaps it's cos the whole idea of "eyes" and "faith" never failed to leave an effect on me that i'm still thinking abt the song.. ha!:) Ohyes! i guess it's not difficult to understand why i named this entry "light in your eyes". It's another of my fave songs :)
Been thinking about what i really want to do with my life. Although i'd really love to medicine but it all depends on whether the faculty wants to accept me. I'm quite keen in applying to UK, but there's financial considerations bothering me! Argh... I just find it real scary havingt to make such a major decision so soon :)

notoriously the one

Hey, i've been thinking about my gp essay which i'm supposed to write in class tmr. It's quite interesting 'cos this is the first time i'm writing something so close to my heart. " The only child in the family is a lucky child." I was tempted to take the easy way out by disagreeing 'cos it is simplier to focus on how only children(hmm.. i couldn't figure out the plural for only child. "Children" sounds so funny beside only)are usually lonely and are more likely to develope antisocial behaviours. Don't laugh ok? But cos popular thinking often paints an unflattering picture of only children, portraying them as self-centered, attention-seeking, dependent, and temperamental, I felt this sense of indignation to correct that stereotype! I agreed with the statement :) It's quite upsetting that i had to use "freedom from siblings rivalry and comparison" as one of my points, cos i know there's actually an element of fun involved. Don't you agree? Guess that's a question which i will never find the real ans to :)

Eternal Flame

I was just dragging myself home after a long tiring day today when i saw this old couple walking in front of me holding hands. My first reaction was aww.. tt's so sweet! Come to think about it, i've always thought it is a beautiful thing to grow old with someone you love dearly. Hmm.. Have you heard of the song I wanna grow old with you? It's my all-time favourite song! The lyrics is so cute too. Take a look:
I wanna make you smile
When you're feeling sad
Carry you around
When your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is
Grow old with you.
I'll get you medicine
when your tummy aches
Build you a fire
When the furnace breaks
It could be so nice
Growing old with you.
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I need you
I'll feed you
Even let you hold the remote control
Let me do the dishes
In our kitchen sink
Put you to bed
When you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who
Grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

It's just sounds difficult to tell an eternal flame apart from all the special people. Hmm... i was just thinking, the thought of 2 hearts beating together as one for so many many years is so sweet :)

baby talk

Hey! i'm feelin' better today already. *yay* I was lucky enough to bump into jonathan online this morning and now i'm all excited abt visiting him in US after A's. Set, i shall start saving now :) Have you realised that i usually feature pics of children? I love children! .. Hmm...i realise i'm not the only one! At least i've found another 3 or 4 of my friends who're planning to have a big family :) Haa.. i rmbr matt telling me he might just have 4 kids so that they can play mahjong amongst themselves when they're bored. [won't it make more sense to have 3 so he can also join in? *laughs*]Anyway, here's a pic Jonathan sent me. It's hilarious isnt it? Ha.. he also said i looked like the michelin baby. what do u think? *lol*

Living dead

I just set foot home from the doc's. Ahh!!! My blood pressure is horrendously low! .. hmm.. wonder if it's an indication tt i'm under-stressed. Seems like exam stress might be able to do some good for me afterall :) Haa.. I was just thinkin', if my pulse were to plunge somemore, i'd be as gd as a "living dead".  The good news is my doc didn't look too worried, so i guess i need not be paranoid abt it either. Yeah! I should be happy and jumpy after sufficient rest :) Wait and see me make a come back! [i sound too happy to be someone sick huh? i'm just hoping i'd be able to coax my symptoms to leave me :) *smile*] I'll write again soon.

feelin' withered again

i have not a single idea what on earth caught me now.. It's horrible feelin' sick! Earlier this morning at 4, i woke up wanting to throw up. But 'cos there was nothing in my stomach, i just sat next to the toilet. It's really uncomfortable :( I went to sch anyway, hoping it'll just clear up, but no.. it kinda got worse. I left school early to see a doc asap, but i guess there're many others who are ill too, i bet it's the weather's fault. i'm home now aft getting my queue no, and i prob wont see my doc until the next hour. Hai.. I hope it's nothing serious. This classmate of mine was joking how my symptoms sound like morning sickness *laughs* Kay.. i better get some rest before walking to the clinic. Hopefully the rain will stop by then too... ..

Someplace Special

I'm in love with the song Somewhere Only We Know I was doing the usual thing: letting the song just pass my ears without actually paying attention to the lyrics. But when i listened carefully, gosh! i was quite moved (mb not moved, but i cant find a better word to describe how i felt) by what the song said. It reminded me of the song In My Life. Here's the first stanza:

There are places I'll remember All my life
Though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall

Talking abt special places.. hmm.. my fave hangout would have to be cityhall!! I especially like the esplanade/fullerton One area. Hmm.. I was just at esplanade earlier with gek. It sure feels good to warm up my fave seat again! :) I hope i get to do so more often :) *smile*

Ballet shoes

I miss ballet! Those of you who have done ballet would know what chaine turns & developpe are. Well, I was just packing my room when i saw my ballet shoes. I slipped my feet in to them and felt the satin ribbon with my fingers. Hmm.. if the shoes weren't a little tight, it would have felt like i was really getting myself ready for ballet lesson once again! I tied the ribbon and finished it by tucking the excess ribbon away. Perfecto! I skipped around the room and did a few spins. Whoa, i really felt like a ballerina. Guess i really miss the feeling of being graceful and definitely the feel of air whispping pass when i do those spins. Ballet hasn't left any trace on me apart from my flexibility... Haa.. says a lot abt how gd a student i was huh? *embarrased laugh*